Time is the funniest concept in life.
Time makes you so happy. You invest so much time into friends and family and you have the best memories. The hardest thing is to give up good times. The time you invest is what makes things matter to you, its when you define what your happiness is and what you enjoy. If you are not sure about something, the more time you spend with/doing it, you decide if its a thing you like you keep doing it, if you don't like doing it, you stop.
Time makes you hurt. When someone takes the time you want to invest away and its out of your control, it is the worst feeling you can experience. When you want to take your free time and give it to being with someone or doing something and you can't, you hurt. Its the hurt that seems to never go away. Everything you do makes your think of what you want. I remember details of time I spent with the person I want to spend my time with. Every day is a challenge, some harder than others. Even with every person surrounding me, I hold my phone and have to talk myself out of being stupid. Saying I miss this person is an understatement.
Time makes you stronger though. I remember days I couldn't get through because I couldn't stand the fact I had to give this person up. I remember weeks I just couldn't not say something, no matter what it said. I remember giving up amazing nights with my friends to cry my eyes our hoping things would change. This person, not to say it would matter, knows what I went through.
As I sit here dreading my journey home for the summer, I realize its going to take time to be OK being home. I know people that claim time can heal anything, but I feel that life can heal anything. It takes something of the same caliber to take over what you miss, without it you can only revert back to what you want. You will always wonder why it couldn't happen, or why it was so abruptly stripped from you.
I can honestly say, without a thought, I go back to what I miss. I don't give up on answers easily, although I have gotten to the point I let it lay. I have learned enough throughout my life, you can't always get what you want, but I never give up on what I want. This situation, however, I have put so much time into it, I have to give up on it. I know that I can't fix it, I can't change it, shoot, I can't even get a "why" out of it. It still hurts every day, but I know that I always get stronger. I just don't know how strong one person can get before it starts to affect who I am or how I live. I know that I won't put up with people, I won't take crap, and I know that who I am is who I am. I am the biggest sweetheart you will come across, but I'm tired of being taken advantage of, so if you do something unacceptable to me, I am your worst nightmare.
I may be strong, I may hide my feelings, but honestly, if I could say one thing to this person, I would say that I have feelings, I'm not a machine. I have never been so hurt and I would have never had anyone do anything close to what this person did. This person stripped me of so much within one night, but somehow, for whatever reason, I'm not mad, I'm not bitter, and honestly, I'd go back to January, but not let it turn around.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Thursday, April 28, 2011
LIfe is never dull, and never on accident
The title of this only one person could probably guess what it means. My roommate is so entertained by my life. I have some of the most surreal moments in my life and I tend to tell her allll about it.
This morning I woke up at 7:30 am, after falling asleep somewhere around the 3 am hour, and realized that my class was starting. Naturally, I rolled over and went back to sleep. I felt that I had slept for hours and looked at the clock to see that it was 8:45 am. I got up for my 7:30 that is also offered at 9:30 and I don't just skip class for no reason.
After waking up slightly disturbed that I couldn't sleep, I opened the Exponent and saw that DONALD TRUMP is a candidate for Republican presidential candidate?! I was sooo confused and really did not believe what was going on. I read the article and still did not know what to think and decided to eat a bagel instead of thinking about it anymore.
I got back from class today and it hit me in the face. I am done with my classes. I'm officially a junior, seeing as though I will not fail my finals. After this summer I will be somewhere in between a my two junior semesters due to credits, but go figure, this year I was surrounded by freshmen. I'm shocked at this revelation only because it means I have to grow up. I have to decide what I want to do with my life. I have to have responsibilities. I absolutely love college. I pretty much have all the freedom I could ask for (once I get out of my current living conditions) and I don't really have to think about what I'm doing other than what is going on in my classes. I can act and then think. Soon, well maybe not /that/ soon, I will not be able to do that. I will have a real job, real bills, and a real life. College really is the best years of my life. I don't want to think about leaving this era of my life.
One of my really good friends here is a guy. I love him to death! His name is David, but since for the first month I knew him I thought his name was Zak, I still call him Zak. He is in my phonebook as Zak, and many times I refer to him as Zak. We had a Den pop run today. When we have these, they are the highlight of my week! I get to spend time away from estrogen and drama, I get to be outside, walking around, enjoying nature without having to survive in it. It was raining on and off today, so I was getting scared we wouldn't be able to handle it, but we made it! Den pop runs last until either of us have a commitment to get back to and we just wander campus, people watch, and building explore. I love it. I learn so much about this campus just by walking with my friends, or taking a run after classes. I love Purdue, even though it rains all the time and it is really not the best weather at all.
Today I learned that I am really afraid of heights. I do not like having my feet off the ground and I don't like looking down and not seeing a wall. I walked to the top of Armstrong today, and since normally I love heights, I looked down. My stomach flipped inside out, up side down, and twisted into all sorts of knots. The walls around the top are all glass and has a metal railing at the top. It is scary to look down and not seeing anything really there, since you can see right through it. Thinking about this just makes me nervous! We stood at the top and looked down all the way to the basement . All my brain could do was fast forward into falling over the rail. I was so relieved to stand on concrete when we got back down to the outside. There is just something about controlling my fate I like to control, since my life fate is just totally random and at the moment, its not fun.
The coolest part about today, and kinda the reason this is titled this way, is the guy that sat next to me in my OLS review session today. Oh my, he was like almost perfect, except he was short. The running joke with my roommate is that I need to find a new type of guy to be attracted to. I like country boys and military boys. I seem to attract a lot of military boys, but nothing ever happens with them. Country boys are rare to come by because they are amazing. They are true gentlemen raised with morals and taught to be respectful. They know how to work hard and treat people right. If they are a true country boy, which I have met them, they know how to be men. But anyway, back to this guy. He was a country boy that was in the military. His only flaw: he was too short for me. I have this thing where the guy has to be a lot taller than me because the smallest pair of heels I own are 2.5" and I will not give up my heels. He sat there and talked about how we didn't care about the class, we were unmotivated, we wanted to go home, then he started talking to me. He was telling me that he wanted to go home this weekend so he could go mudding and fishing but he could because he had drill. Remember here, HE sat by ME! I didn't pick this guy, I did not stalk this guy, it just happened. Our professor started talking about drinking wine tonight, and this guy goes "I'd rather have a fifth of Jack before bed." He was perfect! Too bad that I will probably never see this guy again and I'm totally cool with that. It just gives me hope that these boys may actually exist outside my head.
I love my life, but even as much as I love my life, my friends, and my family, its always that one person you can't have that, when that is all you want for that moment, makes none of that matter. It sounds like I would give it all up for him, but its not like that at all. Its that he is the missing link to the perfection. I need all the links to make it perfect. I know that sometime it won't matter any longer, I know that sometime I will look back and see the strength I gained through all of it, but here, in this moment, right now, I would do anything for this current link, to make this the permanent link that I need. Its hard when he doesn't care, its hard when there is nothing you can do, its hard when you are surrounded by the people you love and love you and still feel like you need that one more, that one that makes you so happy you forget the moment that you are in, the life that is happening around you. Its that feeling where nothing else matters because you finally know what it feels like to be perfectly happy and worry free.
When its ripped out from underneath you with no warnings, no explanation, its the worst feeling in the world. I have had some pretty hard events in my life, and by no means am I feeling sorry for my life, had it not happened I would not be me, but this was the worst I have ever felt. Nothing mattered to me. Nothing was the same without him. I couldn't function, I couldn't focus, I couldn't drive, converse, think, rationalize. I know I drove my friends up the walls, and for that I really do apologize, but I know that they will always be there for me and I will always be there for them. I could have been really destructive from all this. I know I took it out on my academics, and I'm still paying for it. I didn't study, I didn't take notes, I didn't even stay at Purdue. I went home every weekend for a month, I went to Chicago just to go away, I took my spring break to live in denial, and I cried whenever I had to come back here. Purdue used to be my safe haven, away from all the things that I don't like and it was my own life. I didn't have a standard that I had to live up to. No one here judged anything I wanted to do. At any given moment, I can find a friend to hang out with. Then in a night, one night the whole thing changed. It became the one place I didn't want to be. My favorite part of life rejected me, not even to my face.
I've told myself over and over that I am a strong willed, bull headed, girl that deserves better than to be treated like trash. My friends, my dad, my doctor, shoot, everyone, has told me that I will be better off. I will take this summer to have amnesia. I am not ok with remembering any part of being with him yet. I cannot think of one time that I was unhappy, uncomfortable, or wished I was somewhere else when I was with him. Its his loss, and though right now I can't believe that myself, I know that eventually I will see it and feel it.
This morning I woke up at 7:30 am, after falling asleep somewhere around the 3 am hour, and realized that my class was starting. Naturally, I rolled over and went back to sleep. I felt that I had slept for hours and looked at the clock to see that it was 8:45 am. I got up for my 7:30 that is also offered at 9:30 and I don't just skip class for no reason.
After waking up slightly disturbed that I couldn't sleep, I opened the Exponent and saw that DONALD TRUMP is a candidate for Republican presidential candidate?! I was sooo confused and really did not believe what was going on. I read the article and still did not know what to think and decided to eat a bagel instead of thinking about it anymore.
I got back from class today and it hit me in the face. I am done with my classes. I'm officially a junior, seeing as though I will not fail my finals. After this summer I will be somewhere in between a my two junior semesters due to credits, but go figure, this year I was surrounded by freshmen. I'm shocked at this revelation only because it means I have to grow up. I have to decide what I want to do with my life. I have to have responsibilities. I absolutely love college. I pretty much have all the freedom I could ask for (once I get out of my current living conditions) and I don't really have to think about what I'm doing other than what is going on in my classes. I can act and then think. Soon, well maybe not /that/ soon, I will not be able to do that. I will have a real job, real bills, and a real life. College really is the best years of my life. I don't want to think about leaving this era of my life.
One of my really good friends here is a guy. I love him to death! His name is David, but since for the first month I knew him I thought his name was Zak, I still call him Zak. He is in my phonebook as Zak, and many times I refer to him as Zak. We had a Den pop run today. When we have these, they are the highlight of my week! I get to spend time away from estrogen and drama, I get to be outside, walking around, enjoying nature without having to survive in it. It was raining on and off today, so I was getting scared we wouldn't be able to handle it, but we made it! Den pop runs last until either of us have a commitment to get back to and we just wander campus, people watch, and building explore. I love it. I learn so much about this campus just by walking with my friends, or taking a run after classes. I love Purdue, even though it rains all the time and it is really not the best weather at all.
Today I learned that I am really afraid of heights. I do not like having my feet off the ground and I don't like looking down and not seeing a wall. I walked to the top of Armstrong today, and since normally I love heights, I looked down. My stomach flipped inside out, up side down, and twisted into all sorts of knots. The walls around the top are all glass and has a metal railing at the top. It is scary to look down and not seeing anything really there, since you can see right through it. Thinking about this just makes me nervous! We stood at the top and looked down all the way to the basement . All my brain could do was fast forward into falling over the rail. I was so relieved to stand on concrete when we got back down to the outside. There is just something about controlling my fate I like to control, since my life fate is just totally random and at the moment, its not fun.
The coolest part about today, and kinda the reason this is titled this way, is the guy that sat next to me in my OLS review session today. Oh my, he was like almost perfect, except he was short. The running joke with my roommate is that I need to find a new type of guy to be attracted to. I like country boys and military boys. I seem to attract a lot of military boys, but nothing ever happens with them. Country boys are rare to come by because they are amazing. They are true gentlemen raised with morals and taught to be respectful. They know how to work hard and treat people right. If they are a true country boy, which I have met them, they know how to be men. But anyway, back to this guy. He was a country boy that was in the military. His only flaw: he was too short for me. I have this thing where the guy has to be a lot taller than me because the smallest pair of heels I own are 2.5" and I will not give up my heels. He sat there and talked about how we didn't care about the class, we were unmotivated, we wanted to go home, then he started talking to me. He was telling me that he wanted to go home this weekend so he could go mudding and fishing but he could because he had drill. Remember here, HE sat by ME! I didn't pick this guy, I did not stalk this guy, it just happened. Our professor started talking about drinking wine tonight, and this guy goes "I'd rather have a fifth of Jack before bed." He was perfect! Too bad that I will probably never see this guy again and I'm totally cool with that. It just gives me hope that these boys may actually exist outside my head.
I love my life, but even as much as I love my life, my friends, and my family, its always that one person you can't have that, when that is all you want for that moment, makes none of that matter. It sounds like I would give it all up for him, but its not like that at all. Its that he is the missing link to the perfection. I need all the links to make it perfect. I know that sometime it won't matter any longer, I know that sometime I will look back and see the strength I gained through all of it, but here, in this moment, right now, I would do anything for this current link, to make this the permanent link that I need. Its hard when he doesn't care, its hard when there is nothing you can do, its hard when you are surrounded by the people you love and love you and still feel like you need that one more, that one that makes you so happy you forget the moment that you are in, the life that is happening around you. Its that feeling where nothing else matters because you finally know what it feels like to be perfectly happy and worry free.
When its ripped out from underneath you with no warnings, no explanation, its the worst feeling in the world. I have had some pretty hard events in my life, and by no means am I feeling sorry for my life, had it not happened I would not be me, but this was the worst I have ever felt. Nothing mattered to me. Nothing was the same without him. I couldn't function, I couldn't focus, I couldn't drive, converse, think, rationalize. I know I drove my friends up the walls, and for that I really do apologize, but I know that they will always be there for me and I will always be there for them. I could have been really destructive from all this. I know I took it out on my academics, and I'm still paying for it. I didn't study, I didn't take notes, I didn't even stay at Purdue. I went home every weekend for a month, I went to Chicago just to go away, I took my spring break to live in denial, and I cried whenever I had to come back here. Purdue used to be my safe haven, away from all the things that I don't like and it was my own life. I didn't have a standard that I had to live up to. No one here judged anything I wanted to do. At any given moment, I can find a friend to hang out with. Then in a night, one night the whole thing changed. It became the one place I didn't want to be. My favorite part of life rejected me, not even to my face.
I've told myself over and over that I am a strong willed, bull headed, girl that deserves better than to be treated like trash. My friends, my dad, my doctor, shoot, everyone, has told me that I will be better off. I will take this summer to have amnesia. I am not ok with remembering any part of being with him yet. I cannot think of one time that I was unhappy, uncomfortable, or wished I was somewhere else when I was with him. Its his loss, and though right now I can't believe that myself, I know that eventually I will see it and feel it.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
To Nate Romine!
So since I made a list of all of my friends in a previous post, it has been brought to my attention that I have forgotten someone who is a very...interesting part of my life. His name is Nate. He is from Fort Wayne, which is how we started talking the first place. I kinda just creeped on him since he was in my algebra II class and my biology recitation so I figured since I'm the dumbest person on the face of the planet having someone to help me with math and bio would be great! However, little did I know that he would be so...characterized.
His favorite thing to do is make fun of me. He said it is because I can take it and I laugh, which in turn makes him laugh, so I guess it all works out. I am totally ok with people using my blonde moments, ok so my blonde LIFE, as their humor. Typically if someone doesn't make me laugh about it, I'm going to laugh anyway. I make sure that my life is always entertaining. Nate, however, finds many things I say, do, think, dream, ask, ect very funny since I don't normally tend to filter what my actions before my brain gets a good glimpse at its stupidity. For example: we study for bio on a "night before the exam" basis. Today, however, was the afternoon before the lab final. He never studies, I study for two weeks prior to an exam. He is passing with a B and I'm holding on to a D with the slightest grip! Today, he shocked me. We went to the PUM and tells me he hasn't studied at all. I figured, oh good, I will get some good cramming in before this final (90 points of fill in the blank biology...). Come to find out that he finds locking and unlocking my phone a lot more interesting than the digestive tracts, kidneys, and blood. He played on my computer, shopped for computers, and played games on my phone pretty much the whole afternoon. In his defense, after taking the exam it really wasn't that hard, but he lucked out this time.
I told him that I would write a special blog for him because apparently I left him out. Our normal nights are usually late and I normally end up with sore abs from laughing so hard. Its never a dull moment around him. Tonight, after this horrid exam that neither of us care about, we watched the Real World. This was my first time ever watching this show. I could not believe the drama that occurred! I mean, let's get real, I live in a sorority. If I told you that no drama went down here I would be flat out lying to whomever is reading this. I mean the Real World puts any girl fight to shame. I watched this show with two college guys! I mean I couldn't have asked for any better commentary! I spent most of the night laughing at them instead of how dramatic and unbelievable this show is. I recommend watching this show when you are really upset about your life; you walk away from it feeling so good about how mature your life really is.
Another great "Nate making fun of Tracey" moment happened tonight. He was really hungry, I mean it was 11:00 pm and we hadn't eaten since like 6ish while we were "studying", so he wanted Taco Bell. We drove to Taco Bell and as he was leaving the parking lot he thought it would be fun to play in the puddles with his car. To my right I saw a car with its white reverse lights on. I pretty much killed his ear drums screaming for him to pay attention. I mean, come on, the car would have hit my side of the car, its just survival of the fittest! Needless to say, he was not in any danger but continued to make fun of me for the next 10 min as we were driving. I was laughing so hard I couldn't even catch my breath. Although, he is a little dramatic when it comes to my volume. He pretty much thinks I am always yelling, and always sprinting for that matter.
It is 1:32 am, as I am looking at my clock. For whatever reason, since I have been sick I cannot sleep to save my life. The weather is horrible; anyone could sleep all day, but no I am wiiiiiide awake. I really wish it would stop raining and warm up so I could go running. That is really what I want to do. I don't want to sit at a desk and study books and pump out information on a sheet of paper for the next week, but sadly that is what my life is going to be dwindled down to for the next five days.
So, Nate, this blog is totally for you, and my insomnia. I may or may not be in 9:30 am lecture. I could go to the 7:30 am if I am awake. Who knows what I will do when I do it. None the less, if it is stupid you will be there to make fun of me every step of the way...and then there after to make sure I don't forget that I am DUMB, in your words. Oh and we HAVE TO make the Fort fun this summer. I really don't just want to work 40 hours a week, sit in front of a computer for class, and go on vacation with my family. I need some friends! And next semester we will totally chill, since I finally will turn 21 (and NOT in Fort Wayne!).
We are going to take two at this sleeping through the night thing. I'm thinking we are going to be taking some sleep aid tomorrow night, seeing as I don't need to get up for ANY reason Friday, Saturday, or Sunday.
His favorite thing to do is make fun of me. He said it is because I can take it and I laugh, which in turn makes him laugh, so I guess it all works out. I am totally ok with people using my blonde moments, ok so my blonde LIFE, as their humor. Typically if someone doesn't make me laugh about it, I'm going to laugh anyway. I make sure that my life is always entertaining. Nate, however, finds many things I say, do, think, dream, ask, ect very funny since I don't normally tend to filter what my actions before my brain gets a good glimpse at its stupidity. For example: we study for bio on a "night before the exam" basis. Today, however, was the afternoon before the lab final. He never studies, I study for two weeks prior to an exam. He is passing with a B and I'm holding on to a D with the slightest grip! Today, he shocked me. We went to the PUM and tells me he hasn't studied at all. I figured, oh good, I will get some good cramming in before this final (90 points of fill in the blank biology...). Come to find out that he finds locking and unlocking my phone a lot more interesting than the digestive tracts, kidneys, and blood. He played on my computer, shopped for computers, and played games on my phone pretty much the whole afternoon. In his defense, after taking the exam it really wasn't that hard, but he lucked out this time.
I told him that I would write a special blog for him because apparently I left him out. Our normal nights are usually late and I normally end up with sore abs from laughing so hard. Its never a dull moment around him. Tonight, after this horrid exam that neither of us care about, we watched the Real World. This was my first time ever watching this show. I could not believe the drama that occurred! I mean, let's get real, I live in a sorority. If I told you that no drama went down here I would be flat out lying to whomever is reading this. I mean the Real World puts any girl fight to shame. I watched this show with two college guys! I mean I couldn't have asked for any better commentary! I spent most of the night laughing at them instead of how dramatic and unbelievable this show is. I recommend watching this show when you are really upset about your life; you walk away from it feeling so good about how mature your life really is.
Another great "Nate making fun of Tracey" moment happened tonight. He was really hungry, I mean it was 11:00 pm and we hadn't eaten since like 6ish while we were "studying", so he wanted Taco Bell. We drove to Taco Bell and as he was leaving the parking lot he thought it would be fun to play in the puddles with his car. To my right I saw a car with its white reverse lights on. I pretty much killed his ear drums screaming for him to pay attention. I mean, come on, the car would have hit my side of the car, its just survival of the fittest! Needless to say, he was not in any danger but continued to make fun of me for the next 10 min as we were driving. I was laughing so hard I couldn't even catch my breath. Although, he is a little dramatic when it comes to my volume. He pretty much thinks I am always yelling, and always sprinting for that matter.
It is 1:32 am, as I am looking at my clock. For whatever reason, since I have been sick I cannot sleep to save my life. The weather is horrible; anyone could sleep all day, but no I am wiiiiiide awake. I really wish it would stop raining and warm up so I could go running. That is really what I want to do. I don't want to sit at a desk and study books and pump out information on a sheet of paper for the next week, but sadly that is what my life is going to be dwindled down to for the next five days.
So, Nate, this blog is totally for you, and my insomnia. I may or may not be in 9:30 am lecture. I could go to the 7:30 am if I am awake. Who knows what I will do when I do it. None the less, if it is stupid you will be there to make fun of me every step of the way...and then there after to make sure I don't forget that I am DUMB, in your words. Oh and we HAVE TO make the Fort fun this summer. I really don't just want to work 40 hours a week, sit in front of a computer for class, and go on vacation with my family. I need some friends! And next semester we will totally chill, since I finally will turn 21 (and NOT in Fort Wayne!).
We are going to take two at this sleeping through the night thing. I'm thinking we are going to be taking some sleep aid tomorrow night, seeing as I don't need to get up for ANY reason Friday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Blue skies, sun, and...cold?
Last night was one of the greatest nights I've had at Purdue. I had fun with my friends and didn't worry about a thing. Class didn't matter anymore, there were no deadlines, and most of all, for those few hours that I spent away from here, I was happy! There was no drama, no stress, no petty arguments, just a group of college students celebrating the great race of Purdue, Grand Prix.
This celebration is from Sunday to Saturday. There is always something going on at all times. Last night's party theme was CMT vs BET. We dressed up in plaid, jeans, boots, hats, leggings, bright colours, and shining bLING. Tonight's task: paint party. We wear white and just throw some paint around. It sounds like a blast!
It is finely spring in Wes'Lala, which means its BEAUTIFUL! The sun is out, the trees are finally getting colour back, bright flowers line the flower beds outside of classrooms, and YOU SEE PEOPLE! We are no longer just those mobs of clothing shuffling through the ice and snow with our faces buried so your face doesn't fall off! I love just walking around and seeing people I know and some good old fashion exercise! It also makes my job sooooo much easier! I am a lot happier to be sitting at an outdoor sporting event in the sun than when it was cold and raining.
My best friend turns 21 in 3 days. I can't believe it...still. I mean its going to be awesome of course, but I wish I could go out with her. She is actually going home for her birthday, but I told her she should come here. I will be attending a party sponsored by Red Bull.
Sooooo if you are in the Purdue chemistry department, you should post the answers to exam 3...pronto. There is a lot that is lingering on my exam grade, sooo I'd like to at least be able to grade the work that I did. I felt that it was really easy, but its always the easy ones that you mess up and can't believe.
This celebration is from Sunday to Saturday. There is always something going on at all times. Last night's party theme was CMT vs BET. We dressed up in plaid, jeans, boots, hats, leggings, bright colours, and shining bLING. Tonight's task: paint party. We wear white and just throw some paint around. It sounds like a blast!
It is finely spring in Wes'Lala, which means its BEAUTIFUL! The sun is out, the trees are finally getting colour back, bright flowers line the flower beds outside of classrooms, and YOU SEE PEOPLE! We are no longer just those mobs of clothing shuffling through the ice and snow with our faces buried so your face doesn't fall off! I love just walking around and seeing people I know and some good old fashion exercise! It also makes my job sooooo much easier! I am a lot happier to be sitting at an outdoor sporting event in the sun than when it was cold and raining.
My best friend turns 21 in 3 days. I can't believe it...still. I mean its going to be awesome of course, but I wish I could go out with her. She is actually going home for her birthday, but I told her she should come here. I will be attending a party sponsored by Red Bull.
Sooooo if you are in the Purdue chemistry department, you should post the answers to exam 3...pronto. There is a lot that is lingering on my exam grade, sooo I'd like to at least be able to grade the work that I did. I felt that it was really easy, but its always the easy ones that you mess up and can't believe.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Hmmm...Pattern?
Well, It is like 1:45 in the morning. I guess I really like to be awake alllll the time. I had 4 short hours of sleep this morning and this day has be up and down.
I started off this morning waking up at 5:45 am, then got a text at 7:30 am and I don't know where the other hour went. I didn't have time to get ready and then left for work. I made it to the side walk and it poured down rain. I looked like a drowned rat all day.
This is not a complaint. I had a good day. My mama came down for Alpha Xi Delta's Mom's weekend. We got lunch, walked around, and enjoyed all the Purdue offers in the spring. We saw sooo many people out on their porches and lawns SOCIALIZING! Such an amazing season. I love being with people.
...except Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart may be the worst place on the planet. I can't stand the people and always feel dirty when I get there and leave. Normally my visits are longer in line than shopping. I try getting in and out as fast as possible. The people that work there, for obvious reasons, just don't care about their jobs, and therefore go as slow as humanly possible. Then to avoid this issue you try to use the self-scan...but then there are errors so you still have to deal with the employees, who after 15 minutes of you yelling at the machine, they come, hit buttons, and roll their eyes at you like you are the idiot! Yah, that's right. I'm a college student that works forever on everything, and I'm the dumb one. I'm not saying that they don't go to college, but really give the world some respect. I don't treat you like you're unintelligent, so please, don't treat me like I'm unintelligent.
Now that I'm going to fall asleep sitting up at my computer, I'm going to go to my cold air bed and sleep until I'm sufficiently slept.
I started off this morning waking up at 5:45 am, then got a text at 7:30 am and I don't know where the other hour went. I didn't have time to get ready and then left for work. I made it to the side walk and it poured down rain. I looked like a drowned rat all day.
This is not a complaint. I had a good day. My mama came down for Alpha Xi Delta's Mom's weekend. We got lunch, walked around, and enjoyed all the Purdue offers in the spring. We saw sooo many people out on their porches and lawns SOCIALIZING! Such an amazing season. I love being with people.
...except Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart may be the worst place on the planet. I can't stand the people and always feel dirty when I get there and leave. Normally my visits are longer in line than shopping. I try getting in and out as fast as possible. The people that work there, for obvious reasons, just don't care about their jobs, and therefore go as slow as humanly possible. Then to avoid this issue you try to use the self-scan...but then there are errors so you still have to deal with the employees, who after 15 minutes of you yelling at the machine, they come, hit buttons, and roll their eyes at you like you are the idiot! Yah, that's right. I'm a college student that works forever on everything, and I'm the dumb one. I'm not saying that they don't go to college, but really give the world some respect. I don't treat you like you're unintelligent, so please, don't treat me like I'm unintelligent.
Now that I'm going to fall asleep sitting up at my computer, I'm going to go to my cold air bed and sleep until I'm sufficiently slept.
Friday, April 8, 2011
1:11 am
I'm starting this project at 1:11 am. I just thought the time was cool so I'm going to start it off like that.
I don't really know what I'm ever going to write about, but I'm hoping that I will be able to learn to communicate better by allowing my random thoughts to grace the world in print form.
Today may have been one of the worst days of my life, but its days like these that are going to make my next week, Grand Prix, amazing. I just need to some how make it through until Monday night! The reason I am up, considering blogging, at 1 am on a Saturday morning is because I'm the best roommate ever. I'm waiting to make sure my roommate is OK and gets back safely. I will do anything for her. She is not just my roommate. She is my partner in this crazy Twilight Zone room, she is a fellow Boilermaker, she is one of my best friends, and most of all she is my sister. We've got each other's backs. Its going to be scary to go out for my 21st birthday and not have her in the room within view, but hopefully my bestest friend will be able to be here with me!
As I continue to watch the clock progress, I'm seeing my sleeping hours regress. I told my roommate I'd be up when she got home so this blog could get really long. I have to be up in 5 hours in order to have the busiest day. I start the day by setting up for Mom's day at my sorority at 7. Then I have to go to work at 9 and pray I get off at noon because my mom is coming. Then I believe it will be a well deserved night at AEPi and have tons of fun with my neighbor and her mom!
If I would have started this back at the start of the semester, y'all would have seen a long pattern of me going out. I learned that is not always the best way to spend your weekend, but at the same time, you're only in college for 4-6 years, so live it up with your friends. My friends mean the world to me.
Stephanie: My best friend in the entire world. Even being 3 hours apart, I would never give up a chance to hang out with her.
Lauren: My roommate, my sister, man are we a pair.
Kara: My longest friend. Even after all of high school of not talking and going to colleges 3 hours away, you'd never know we didn't spend all of our lives together!
Kristina (Xina): My roommate for next year. My friend that tells me the straight up truth and will slap me in the face. We keep each other in check.
Janae: There is nothing to describe the relationship between Janae and I. We are just always there when we need each other and nothing is better than a cup of coffee and a lovely walk with her!
Kirsten: My podmate.
I have too many to list, but these will probably come up the most. They are the biggest part of my life at this point in my life. On to my Boilermaker family.
Julie: My little sis. I love her so much! She is fantabulous. I wouldn't trade her for anyone and I would never ever put myself before her.
Sarah: My former little sis, who will always be my little sis if you ask me. She reminds me that life is always a trip.
Shannon: My future little sis, but if life prevents that, still my little sis. I will do my best to always be there for her and do my best to help her. She looks up to me and I hope I never let her down.
If we bring my biological family into this it could get really weird. My family, one that I would never trade for anything, has given me a life of ups downs twists and turns.
My mother: The woman who raised me, mostly by herself, the best she could. She instilled values and morals in me that I only hope I can pass on to my children.
My father: The man who has always been there for me. He never missed a basketball game, volleyball game, award ceremony, lunch date, weekend, cup of coffee. He will never let me forget that I'm worth the world, and if a guy treats me less than that he's not worth my time. I love my daddy more than anyone. I'm the biggest daddy's girl.
Curtis: My big brother. There will never be a replacement for him. I miss him every day. He's my best friend, he is my hero. You don't mess with me and get it past him. I'm always going to be his little sister and he's always going to make sure that I am treated well. If you can't get past my brother, you will not last in my life. He is married to Lindsay.
Mike: My mother's husband. I only hope that I am lucky enough to have a guy that is half as loyal as I have seen this man be. I'm not even biologically his family and he has been through everything my mother has had to go through with me since he has been around.
Lisa: My father's wife. A very humble and successful woman. She is strong-willed and presents her self as confident and sure even if things are going as planned.
Matt: Mike's son. He has a wife, Crista, and two children Carter and Gwen. Matt is the most friendly and outgoing person I have met in a long time. Its nice to see that even with a family and a job, he just loves being around family and people.
Mandy: Mike's daughter. Kindness is the one word that would describe everything about her. Every action she does is full of kindness. She is getting married in October.
Kristen: Lisa's daughter. She is my age, attending Ball State. Very much like her mother, and has a great future ahead of her.
Dustin: Lisa's son. About to be a fellow Boilermaker! We share a birthday, so I guess he can move up to the rank of awesome.
Crazy mess of random family and friends. My life is all about people and I would never change it.
Since my alarm is going off in 4 and a half hours, I'm going to my cold air bed that is more like a nest of pillows...kinda like a cloud.
TdR
I don't really know what I'm ever going to write about, but I'm hoping that I will be able to learn to communicate better by allowing my random thoughts to grace the world in print form.
Today may have been one of the worst days of my life, but its days like these that are going to make my next week, Grand Prix, amazing. I just need to some how make it through until Monday night! The reason I am up, considering blogging, at 1 am on a Saturday morning is because I'm the best roommate ever. I'm waiting to make sure my roommate is OK and gets back safely. I will do anything for her. She is not just my roommate. She is my partner in this crazy Twilight Zone room, she is a fellow Boilermaker, she is one of my best friends, and most of all she is my sister. We've got each other's backs. Its going to be scary to go out for my 21st birthday and not have her in the room within view, but hopefully my bestest friend will be able to be here with me!
As I continue to watch the clock progress, I'm seeing my sleeping hours regress. I told my roommate I'd be up when she got home so this blog could get really long. I have to be up in 5 hours in order to have the busiest day. I start the day by setting up for Mom's day at my sorority at 7. Then I have to go to work at 9 and pray I get off at noon because my mom is coming. Then I believe it will be a well deserved night at AEPi and have tons of fun with my neighbor and her mom!
If I would have started this back at the start of the semester, y'all would have seen a long pattern of me going out. I learned that is not always the best way to spend your weekend, but at the same time, you're only in college for 4-6 years, so live it up with your friends. My friends mean the world to me.
Stephanie: My best friend in the entire world. Even being 3 hours apart, I would never give up a chance to hang out with her.
Lauren: My roommate, my sister, man are we a pair.
Kara: My longest friend. Even after all of high school of not talking and going to colleges 3 hours away, you'd never know we didn't spend all of our lives together!
Kristina (Xina): My roommate for next year. My friend that tells me the straight up truth and will slap me in the face. We keep each other in check.
Janae: There is nothing to describe the relationship between Janae and I. We are just always there when we need each other and nothing is better than a cup of coffee and a lovely walk with her!
Kirsten: My podmate.
I have too many to list, but these will probably come up the most. They are the biggest part of my life at this point in my life. On to my Boilermaker family.
Julie: My little sis. I love her so much! She is fantabulous. I wouldn't trade her for anyone and I would never ever put myself before her.
Sarah: My former little sis, who will always be my little sis if you ask me. She reminds me that life is always a trip.
Shannon: My future little sis, but if life prevents that, still my little sis. I will do my best to always be there for her and do my best to help her. She looks up to me and I hope I never let her down.
If we bring my biological family into this it could get really weird. My family, one that I would never trade for anything, has given me a life of ups downs twists and turns.
My mother: The woman who raised me, mostly by herself, the best she could. She instilled values and morals in me that I only hope I can pass on to my children.
My father: The man who has always been there for me. He never missed a basketball game, volleyball game, award ceremony, lunch date, weekend, cup of coffee. He will never let me forget that I'm worth the world, and if a guy treats me less than that he's not worth my time. I love my daddy more than anyone. I'm the biggest daddy's girl.
Curtis: My big brother. There will never be a replacement for him. I miss him every day. He's my best friend, he is my hero. You don't mess with me and get it past him. I'm always going to be his little sister and he's always going to make sure that I am treated well. If you can't get past my brother, you will not last in my life. He is married to Lindsay.
Mike: My mother's husband. I only hope that I am lucky enough to have a guy that is half as loyal as I have seen this man be. I'm not even biologically his family and he has been through everything my mother has had to go through with me since he has been around.
Lisa: My father's wife. A very humble and successful woman. She is strong-willed and presents her self as confident and sure even if things are going as planned.
Matt: Mike's son. He has a wife, Crista, and two children Carter and Gwen. Matt is the most friendly and outgoing person I have met in a long time. Its nice to see that even with a family and a job, he just loves being around family and people.
Mandy: Mike's daughter. Kindness is the one word that would describe everything about her. Every action she does is full of kindness. She is getting married in October.
Kristen: Lisa's daughter. She is my age, attending Ball State. Very much like her mother, and has a great future ahead of her.
Dustin: Lisa's son. About to be a fellow Boilermaker! We share a birthday, so I guess he can move up to the rank of awesome.
Crazy mess of random family and friends. My life is all about people and I would never change it.
Since my alarm is going off in 4 and a half hours, I'm going to my cold air bed that is more like a nest of pillows...kinda like a cloud.
TdR
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)